he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
