So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
