How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
