The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
