Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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