im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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