Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
