the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize