a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
