guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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