I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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