She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
