Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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