Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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