The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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