Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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