My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Randomize
