I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
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