If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
