I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
