All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
The Olympian is in my bed
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
