fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
People with herpes should wear stickers.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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