just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
