Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
