So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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