can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
