I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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