You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
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