I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
