Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
