It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
