It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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