So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I want a musical about memes.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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