theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize