Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
