I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
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