is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
