i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize