It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
