I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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