well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
