I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
