honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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