how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
