Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
