What did we do last night that was yellow?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
