Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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