As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize