sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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