dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
