i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
