paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I understand Curling. That high.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
