never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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