oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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