the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
