Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
