So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm like, not good at living.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
