Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
