Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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