what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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