tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
