I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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