It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
