I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize