i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
