omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
