He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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