Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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