We're like a lot better than the average bears
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize