Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
