omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
